on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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