Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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