actually, I'm a sock model
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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