something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
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My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
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View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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