there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize