she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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