Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize