Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
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My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
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2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I deserve this hangover.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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