Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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