a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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