when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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