Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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