I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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