Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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