how hairy? two words: wookie tits
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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