i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize