I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize