Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is exhausting
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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