just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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