I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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