I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize