i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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