if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize