he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He kissed a someone with a penis
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize