she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize