Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
where does the pee come out of this thing
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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