I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
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But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
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Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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