Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize