Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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