I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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