yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggles of a small town man whore
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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