dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize