I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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