My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
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I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
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Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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