It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You are a genius and a whore.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize