omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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