she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
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he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
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She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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