I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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