I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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