Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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