can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize