i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize