There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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