do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
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I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
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Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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