Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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