I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize