wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize