positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize