Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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