my sisters under your porch take her home
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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